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The Word on Words: Bonus Exercise (Spring Issue)

By Randi Mayes posted 03-23-2015 16:58

  

In the spring issue of Peer to Peer, Gary Kinder provides a great lesson on recognizing and eliminating the passive voice from your writing. Read the article and test your understanding with this bonus exercise.

 

 

 Unedited text:

 

            Our fees will be based on the time required to complete our services and the personnel we have assigned to the project, plus out-of-pocket costs. We also consider the difficulty and size of the assignment, the degree of skill required, time limitations, the nature of the project, and the value of our services to you. Our fees and costs will be billed monthly and are payable when you receive the invoice. Invoices unpaid 60 days past the billing date may be deemed delinquent and subject to an interest charge of 1% per month.

You agree to mediate any dispute regarding the meaning, performance, or enforcement of this engagement, prior to resorting to litigation, and both parties will mediate in good faith once either party requests it in writing. You also agree that any mediation shall be administered in Travis County, Texas, according to the laws of the State of Texas. The costs of any proceeding shall be shared equally by the parties.

 

 

Edited text with signs in red:

 

             Our fees will be based on the time required to complete our services and the personnel we have assigned to the project, plus out-of-pocket costs. We also consider the difficulty and size of the assignment, the degree of skill required, time limitations, the nature of the project, and the value of our services to you. Our fees and costs will be billed monthly and are payable when you receive the invoice. Invoices unpaid 60 days past the billing date may be deemed delinquent and subject to an interest charge of 1% per month.

You agree to mediate any dispute regarding the meaning, performance, or enforcement of this engagement, prior to resorting to litigation, and both parties will mediate in good faith once either party requests it in writing. You also agree that any mediation shall be administered in Travis County, Texas, according to the laws of the State of Texas. The costs of any proceeding shall be shared equally by the parties.

 

 

 

Edited version with passive voice eliminated:

  

We will base our fees on the time required to complete our services and the personnel we have assigned to the project, plus out-of-pocket costs. We also consider the difficulty and size of the assignment, the degree of skill required, time limitations, the nature of the project, and the value of our services to you. We will bill our fees and costs monthly and they are payable when you receive the invoice. We may deem invoices unpaid 60 days past the billing date delinquent and subject to an interest charge of 1% per month.

You agree to mediate any dispute regarding the meaning, performance, or enforcement of this engagement, prior to resorting to litigation, and that both parties will mediate in good faith once either party requests it in writing to mediate. You also agree to mediate in Travis County, Texas, according to the laws of the State of Texas. The parties shall share equally the costs of any proceeding.

 

 

 

           

 

 

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